You Don’t Need Positivity. You Need Acceptance.
A Performer’s Journey to Healing and Self-Acceptance.
I still remember that panel I had right before my graduation from acting school. Two of my voice and speech teachers and my Shakespeare teacher were giving me feedback. One of them said: “What amazes me about you is that you never seem to carry even a slight trace of cynicism. You are always full of positive energy.” Then the other two nodded in agreement.
I thanked him, flattered. That was not the first time I heard this about me from others, but I still believed it to be one of the greatest compliments I could have. Even the sound of this word makes me want to dance to it. Compared to “uppity” words like “talent”, “intelligence” and “tenacity”, “positivity” sounds so grounding, yet contagious. I love this word.
So I always tried to embrace it. I saw positivity as the key to connect with people, attract clients, and embark on challenging journeys. I wrote affirmation on post-its and put them on the wall in front of my desk. I did positive self-talks before auditions. It made me feel good, and it worked magic. For a while. Then one day I lost a part I wanted so much. And suddenly this entire positivity thing snapped out of its magic kingdom.
I realized that while I didn’t have the cynicism, I was extremely critical with myself. So no…
